Have you experienced a funny scenario where you met a man and he seemed to be all over you? You got so comfortable, laughing, talking, and having a swell time together. You can feel the sexual tension and are pretty sure he is flirting with you. Then you spot his wedding ring. Now you feel so bewildered. You are wondering “Is this married man flirting with me”? Or did you misread the situation?
Well, does it intrigue you to know that despite being in a committed relationship, and maybe having kids, some married men do flirt for all sorts of reasons? If you are on the receiving end of the attention, you can end up feeling baffled and frustrated.
Do you know that married men flirt differently than single guys?
Table of Contents
There is a lot of overlap in the ways single guys and married men flirt. However, married men who flirt will try to make you forget or overlook the fact that they are married. They will present their status as “inconsequential” and magnify your presence and their desire to have you. Please don’t fall for this trick. Married men do all they can to get you comfortable and offer you the feeling of a long-term relationship which is nothing but a lie.
In This Article
Why do married men flirt?
Is he flirting or is it friendship?
Signs that a married man is flirting with you
Body language hints that a married man is flirting with you
When a man married flirts, it can raise lots of eyebrows and questions. It can even lead to disgust and hate. Oftentimes single people are often trying to take things from a friendship to a relationship. But, married men might have other motives. A married man that is flirting with you probably isn’t interested to start a romantic entanglement although there are exemptions. So why do married men flirt?
It is possible that you’ve triggered his hero instinct
It is natural for men to feel and be in charge and they become attentive to people especially women that trigger their hero instinct.
Although, this theory in relationship psychology is new and it’s causing a real buzz right now. It says men are biologically programmed to want to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about.
They essentially want to feel like an everyday hero. And when a woman makes him feel like this, she has him wrapped around her little finger.
Have you stopped to access that the reason this married guy could be flirting with you is that you are triggering his hero instinct whether you are conscious about it or not; this triggers something in him.
So he’s drawn to you, even without thinking about it — it’s instinctive.
It goes without saying this magnetic power to have any man drooling over you is a useful thing to learn.
A married man flirting may lack Intimacy in his marriage
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and the intensity of romance and intimacy may not be as hot as the early stages if not kindled. Level of romance and sexual intimacy change over time, especially for partners who are drawn apart.
If he doesn’t feel emotionally close to his partner, or if sex has dropped off, he may be looking to replace those feelings with someone else and unfortunately, that person maybe you
Like the first point, a lack of intimacy in the marriage may have him seeking attention elsewhere.
He wants to be wanted
Don’t you think this play man wants some game with you? It may interest you to know that he might be flirting with you because he wants you to flirt back.
Having someone flirt with you can boost your smile ego and he might be looking to prop up his self-esteem.
He likes the chase
To be candid, flirting is fun, and as strange as this may sound some married men know they have ‘ a constant ’ at home but sometimes it’s thrilling to chase after something new. It might even get him to spice up his marriage by giving some extra lovin’ at home.
Now, do you want to know if a man is flirting with you, then look out for the following signs:
He will make excuses to be near you
When a married man constantly shows interest to be around you even when it’s not necessary, then you may have gotten yourself another admirer. From inserting himself into your circle of friends to devising reasons to talk to you in person, he will find reasons to be close to you.
He wants to spend time with you but he’ll need an excuse so that his spouse and other people don’t catch on. Hilarious right? But it’s the truth!
He will ask about your love life
Even though a married do not expect you to be single he will still be interested in finding out if he stands a chance or if there is any rival (funny right?) He will be interested to know if you are dating anyone or if there is someone you like. Not only is he crossing his fingers, hoping that you are single, but he is also inviting you to express interest in him.
Even if you are in a relationship, he won’t leave you the heck alone you are in a relationship, he will have lots of questions about how committed you are and how much time you spend together. So watch out girl!
Those conversations will turn too personal
Another sign to watch out for in a flirty married man is to reach out for how he turns casual conversations very personal. Small talk isn’t always a sign of flirting on its own but a married man flirting will take casual conversations a step further.
Although, you can also watch out for how he may keep discussions at a surface level when other people are around but he will try to dig deeper when you are alone.
He will suddenly be interested in your interests, what time you wake up or sleep, hobbies, and favorite foods. If he switches it further by asking about your childhood, fears, and goals, you can assume he is flirting.
He will talk bad about your boyfriend
No one will criticize your boyfriend like another guy who is interested in you. And this is even worst for a married man especially when he’s rich or has material things to offer; he will look for every means to show that he’s better off than your ‘broke’ unmarried boyfriend ( even if he’s not broke). A married man who is flirting with you will jump on chances to criticize your boyfriend. He will point out ways your boyfriend is wrong for you.
Although he can’t fully commit to being with you, a flirty married man doesn’t want you to be with anyone else. Weird right?
He tries to establish inside jokes
Since he can’t spend loads of time with you, a married man flirting will look for ways to deepen your relationship and one way to do this is by creating inside jokes when you are together. Latching on to something funny that happened organically and recalling it, again and again, is a way to remind you that you share a bond. Don’t sleep on this sign.
He will text you often
When a married man is flirting with you, daily and random texts will quickly become a habit.
According to Psychology Today, men text flirt because they want to relax and they want to control. He wants you to know that you are on his mind, and he wants to keep tabs on what you are doing and where you are. He may even send texts with low-key hints that he is into you.
Again, He will ask you not to text
It’s confusing, but flirting by text can be tricky for married men because those messages can get them caught.
No matter how often he texts you, don’t be surprised that he is probably deleting those messages immediately. And, he may ask you not to text him on weekends or after certain hours when he knows his spouse will be nearby so watch out for all these gimmicks.
He will give gifts
Don’t be surprised at how much he’s interested in lavishing you with gifts, be ready to get ‘spoilt’ baby girl. A married man that is flirting with you will frequently give both large and small gifts.
Giving you things is a way to show affection without anyone else noticing. He might go out of his way even when it’s not convenient to buy you a piece of personalized jewelry, a scarf in your favorite color, or an expensive Christmas gift.
He complains about his spouse
Get ready to hear him complain about his spouse when he’s around you He wants you to know that his marriage isn’t something an impediment to his intention, so he will openly complain about his wife.
He will point out how unhappy he is at home most of which are LIES, share their relationship struggles and explain that his spouse doesn’t understand him. But, be careful. He may be exaggerating or making things up just to get you.
He will send mixed signals
A married man that flirts is usually off and on. One minute he is attentive and all over you to the point of getting obsessive. The next moment he seems to have forgotten about you and may even give cold shoulders.
And in private, he practically suffocates you, but in public, he ignores you. His on-again-off-again attitude will leave your head swirling. It all comes down to his own inner conflict.
He is interested in you, but deep down he knows he should be committed to his spouse. Don’t even think he is trying to the world how he’s been a bad boy, so he makes sure no one else figures out what is going on.
He will check out your body
This is the last sign I will discuss. Watch out for him as he looks at you again and again, probably because he’s attracted to you. Whether it’s your booty or your eyes, if a married man is checking you out, he is interested.
He will check out your body
This is the last sign I will discuss. Watch out for him as he looks at you again and again, probably because he’s attracted to you. Whether it’s your booty or your eyes, if a married man is checking you out, he is interested.
Ask yourself: Is he flirting or is it friendship?
Sometimes, it’s hard to differentiate between being friendly and flirting.
It’s important to know that friendship with the opposite sex is delicate for married people.
The jury is still out on whether it is appropriate to have a friendship with a married man. But you do need to be able to tell if he is being nice or actually flirting. Ask yourself these questions.
- How does he feel about your love life?
- Friend: He wants you to find love and happiness
- Flirt: He wants you to himself
- Does he try to be alone with you?
- Friend: He is happy to spend time in groups or alone
- Flirt: He tries to be alone with you whenever possible and is more comfortable when it is just the two of you
- Does he talk about his life?
- Friend: A married man who is your friend is open and relaxed talking about his friends and family
- Flirt: A married man who is flirting with you will sky away from talking about his family
- Does he give you gifts?
- Friend: He gives you occasional small gifts, usually for holidays or your birthday
- Flirt: He treats you to expensive things for no reason
- Does he make eye contact?
- Friend: He makes eye contact during conversations and looks away occasionally
- Flirt: He gazes deeply into your eyes and never does not break the intense eye contact
Body language hints that a married man is flirting with you
A married man might not be able to flirt full-on, but his body will give him away.
- He stares at you, even when you aren’t looking at him
- Seems embarrassed when you catch him looking
- He holds intense eye contact
- He leans toward you during conversations
- Uses good posture or positions himself to look taller
- He angles his feet toward you
- Mirrors your movements
- He fidgets, touches his hair, and blinks more than normal
- Tilts his head when he is listening to you
- He touches or grazes against you
- He raises his eyebrows when he sees you
Now, after all, that has been said and pointed out, what can you do if a married man is flirting with you?
Make a decision
You need to make your decision and stand by it. But I will advise you not to do anything silly, regret is not cheap.
If you are not willing to flirt with him, will you take it to the next step? The go-to answer here is no.
Tell him to stop
Tell him to stop and mean it. Sometimes you have to summon all your courage and be direct. It’s uncomfortable but so is suffering through unwanted flirting.
Tell him explicitly that you are not interested and that you find the flirting inappropriate. Then, break all contact and do not respond if he continues to reach out.
There are many reasons for flirting and, for married men, it’s not always about starting a relationship. But, when a married man is flirting with you, confusion and conflicted emotions are sure to follow.
While it feels good for someone to show you attention, you deserve for that attention to come from someone available.