Having an insecure boyfriend is like giving up your freedom to someone else. I once had a boyfriend who practically controls my life. Also monitors my movements, my calls, I made sure I picked his calls with immediate effect to avoid his unnecessary suspicion.
He almost separated me from my family members. He was a control freak and very insecure. One day I opted out of the relationship because I needed my sanity back. all his efforts to get me back proved abortive.
Every man who chooses to go into a relationship should first work on his temperament and character. Don’t go to a promising young girl and try to suppress her dreams and aspirations. If you had trust issues in your past experiences, it will be best to work on it. Don’t mistreat others just because you were once mistreated.
The following are the problems with having the wrong boyfriend.
A relationship is a beautiful thing if you are with the right person. However, relationships can also bring tears and agony if you end up with the wrong person.
This is the major challenge with boys. They feel threatened at the sight of other boys close to their women. That is why they go as far as hacking their girlfriend’s social apps, just to monitor their activities. Insecurity can make you behave like a mentally deranged man.
Studies show that insecure men hide a secret under their sleeves, they are cheats. Therefore, they are afraid not to be cheated on too. That’s why they do all they can to protect their women.
Most men that are not financially balance feel threaten by their women, especially when she has more money.
Men believe they are meant to have more money than women which is the reason why they don’t date a woman of a higher class. They feel the woman wouldn’t respect or value them.
Your boyfriend can become bitter when you are always the one providing for his needs. He sees himself as not man enough. This can aggravate him and make him abnormal.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend is too relaxed and comfortable while you are providing for him. It’s a big red flag. Such a person will be too lazy and dependent on you thereby adding to your stress.
LACK OF TRUST FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND
Trust remains one of the important ingredients in any relationship. If Your boyfriend doesn’t trust you, he suspects everything you do and doesn’t give you any breathing space. You need to sit back and reevaluate such relationships.
If a man truly loves you, he should be able to trust you wholeheartedly. A relationship void of trust is bound to fail.
Upbringing plays a major role in a relationship. A man who grew up in a violent home is bound to be violent too if he didn’t work on himself. It is important to unlearn and relearn some of the teachings you had while growing up.
If your boyfriend still listens to everything his family says, especially if his family is the troublesome type. Then that will surely jeopardize your relationship with him.
You are mostly going to be on the receiving end if your boyfriend has an anger issue, He will tend to hit you over any slightest provocations. If such an incident could occur, it would be better if you run as fast as your legs could carry you.
Don’t ever insist on staying in a relationship with an angered man. I have seen women lose their lives in such cases. If you love him enough and wish to continue in the relationship, it will be best for him to seek help and undergo therapy to heal completely.
A jealous man can be violent. Does your boyfriend prevent you from mingling with friends or even logging into social media and calling it love? No, this is not love but jealousy.
Jealousy is one of the reasons why most girls with a promising future and career give up their dreams to please a man. He tells you to quit your job so that other men wouldn’t look at you.
You don’t have to let go of all your dreams and aspirations for your boyfriend. If he loves you, he should support you instead. There is no place for jealousy where there is true love.
A CHEATING BOYFRIEND
Most men cannot stay with one girl for a long time. They feel they are entitled to date as many girls as they want hence they are not married to anyone.
Stop blaming yourself for your boyfriend’s inadequacy. These days, many girls are doing everything possible to keep their boyfriends to themselves.
Your boyfriend is not doing you any favor by staying faithful. Rather, it is his responsibility to stay faithful not just for you but for himself also.
As funny as this may sound. Some boyfriends wouldn’t value you because you are from a certain tribe. Especially if he comes from a cultural-oriented background.
Your boyfriend can break up with you once he is ready to settle down after years of a relationship. Nevertheless, you must find out his orientation about tribes and culture earlier in the relationship. Some communities prohibit their sons from marrying outside their states and so on.
So, before you venture into any relationship with a man, verify his cultural background and also find out if he loves you enough to stand by you.
HOW TO DEAL WITH MY BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS
Most men agree and understand they have a problem with their relationships and seek help. Whereas others feel they are okay. Dealing with your boyfriend’s problems can be easy or difficult depending on if he cooperates with you.
Distance yourself for a while
When I noticed that my boyfriend had insecurities issues and was always violent. We decided to give each other a break for some time. I wanted to see if he would change when he misses me, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Your absence can make him realize how much he loves you and he will do everything possible to hold on to you in his life. Thereby changing his bad character and turning a new leaf.
Assure him of your love
Always assure your boyfriend of your undying love for him. Sometimes all he needs to stay cool is just a kind word from you.
Don’t always play hard to get, stay available for him and share in his pain and joy; This will give him a sense of belonging and he will be assured of your commitment to him.
Don’t flirt around
Playing and joking around with men, especially in the presence of your boyfriend will make him jealous.
If you are a jovial person, you should learn to curtail it, to avoid causing problems in your relationship. Importantly, it is also advised to date your friend, someone that understands you. someone that knows your characters and appreciates you for who you are.
Pray for your boyfriend
Prayer cannot be overemphasized by any other thing. No matter how lovey-dovey your relationship is going. It is important to pray for one other.
The most important thing you need to strengthen your relationship and deal with the problems of your boyfriend is to invite God into the affairs of your relationship. Prayers change everything and the power of prayer shouldn’t be underestimated.
Make his family members your friend
Nothing gladens a man’s heart more than seeing his woman relate with his family members. If your boyfriend is difficult to handle or refuses to change his evil ways, try befriending his family members to your benefit.
When you make your boyfriend’s family your friends, it will enable them to support you during difficult times. They wouldn’t mind fighting their son just to protect you.
Nagging is a total waste of time and will keep your boyfriend further away from you.
Instead, find the best time to communicate with your boyfriend especially in his happy mood.
The tone and manner you use in airing your view also matter a lot. Desist from using a harsh tone or being authoritative while addressing the issues in your relationship.
Your boyfriend will listen to you more and probably adjust when you gently and calmly talk to him.
Nowadays, it is almost difficult to find a boyfriend without a problem. Different relationships have different issues. No wonder divorces are rampant because most people failed to work on their relationship before venturing into marriage.
Marriage is not a problem fixing arena, if your boyfriend refused to change from his bad attitude during your relationship, what makes you think marriage will change him?
Some of the boyfriend problems might be a challenge he is facing and he is truly working on how to get over them. Instead of walking away or adding to his problems, it will be best if you help him overcome them by being understanding and showing empathy.