What does settling in a Relationship means? Good or bad?
Being in a relationship is something beautiful, especially when you find yourself in a peaceful relationship. A relationship is simply the way you relate, interact, and behave with people. We have family, relationship, romantic relationship, friendship, and acquaintanceship.
This type of relationship depends on who your partner is, if she’s living in your neighborhood, your relationship is simply an acquaintance relationship shortly put as acquaintanceship, if she’s your blood or family member, this kind of relationship is simply put as a family relationship.
But if she’s just a colleague, classmate, or business mate, can easily be classified under normal friendship. Now let’s look at a romantic relationship; this is a relationship that is intimate, a kind of relationship that involves kissing, smooching, going on outings, or even going as deep as having sex.
This kind of relationship doesn’t just emerge, it starts from somewhere, it may start with physical attraction, social, moral or brilliancy of a partner too may attract you to a relationship which can end up as an intimate relationship. Romantic relationship is a stage every single man or lady must pass through before ending up as a married man or woman.
This relationship deals with feelings, intentionality, love, and even sacrifice, the cheerfulness of one of the members of this relationship can foster the relationship. There’s something that attracts you to that man, there’s something that attracts that man too to you. We can’t close our eyes to vital things such as character, longsuffering, cheerfulness, forgiving spirit, and even the ability to lift each other burden when there’s a challenge. All these features are necessary to look into as these are some of the things that will trigger your feelings towards settling in a relationship.
Before we continue, I will like to talk about settling, what does settling in a relationship means? Settling in a relationship simply means being ready to forgo and forbear, it’s the readiness to look beyond your standard and concur with things below your standard. There are ups and downs in a relationship, so if you find yourself doing some of the things you couldn’t tolerate before just for your friend or lover, this simply means you are ready for a beautiful life ahead…
When you decide to settle in a relationship, you choose to accept things that you deeply know don’t sit right by you. The fear of losing the one you love is the main reason why you could be settling for what you don’t deserve or things below your aspirations.
Most lovers are un-repentantly happy when they start a relationship. However, as time passes by and they grow daily to encounter challenges on their way, many find themselves sorrowful or discontented.
When these feelings emerge, the question “am I settling in a relationship” pops up. If you find yourself asking the same question right now, then you are on the right page. Find out the answer by knowing the signs of whether or not you are settling in a relationship.
Signs You’re Settling In a Relationship
How to avoid settling for less in a relationship
Most couples are extremely happy when they start a relationship. However, as time passes by and they get to know more about each other and encounter challenges together, many find themselves unhappy or uncontented.
When these feelings emerge, the question “am I settling for this relationship” is quite common. If you find yourself asking the same question right now, then this article is for you. Find out the answer by knowing the signs of whether or not you are settling in a relationship. Relationship is meant to continue and in order to continue, your commitment matters.
“I think I am settling in a relationship” is a phrase most people use when discussing their relationships with their friends. But what does settling mean?
Settling in a relationship means being ready to forgo your pride, limit your standards thereby accepting less what you love or wished for. Therefore, settling in a relationship can be a good thing, and some people end up shattering their relationship through mistakes and intolerance.
When you decide to settle in a relationship, you choose to accept things that you deeply know don’t sit right by you. The fear of losing the one you love is the main reason why you could be settling.
Settling often begins when you give up yourself to your significant other. It happens when you begin losing your worth and changing your standards to correlate with the status of your relationship, just to show your commitment to the relationship that may not serve your best interest.
However, these signs will help you to differentiate between settling and compromising. When you choose to accept everything your partner does at your expense to keep the relationship going, that is settling.
On the other hand, compromising is being ready to accept that your partner is not perfect; even when his attitude is one of the things you detest. You accepting him believing, we are humans that can’t do without faults simply tells that you have compromised. Compromising simply means accepting imperfections.
We all have a list of non-negotiable things we cannot condone. If you find yourself ignoring the list of things you cannot tolerate to remain in a relationship, that is settling. Accepting your partner is not perfect is compromising, which is important for every relationship.
Society has different opinions and rules regarding a relationship. For example, everyone has an opinion on what age you should get kids and at what age you should marry.
These external pressures are the main reason why people settle in relationships and could end up marrying wrong. Examine deeply why you are with your partner and be honest with yourself.
What does settling in a relationship means? A healthy relationship is one where you can discuss and make sound decisions. If your partner doesn’t consult you on major decisions, and you feel less bothered, you have started to settle for less.
Trying to change him
When you have no peace with your partner’s habits and you find his behavior unacceptable, but you are still hoping your love will change him, you are settling in your relationship. If your best attempts are channeled towards changing him to be the person you want him to be, that means you are settling in your relationship and have put yourself on hold.
A healthy relationship should encourage personal growth. It should challenge you to improve and be the best version of yourself. If you have to put your dreams and aspirations aside just for your relationship to work then, you are settling.
Fear of missing out
If you are constantly scared that you have a better chance of love out there, you are missing out on; this simply shows that they are some vacuums he hasn’t covered, some spacesf he hasn’t filled. If you’re constantly worried that there is someone better for you out there who can treat you better, appreciate you, and see your worth is a clear indication of settling.
Low Interest In Things About Relationship
Spending more time with family, friends, or colleagues other than your partner no enthusiasm for a relationship, your not giving up shows you are settling. On the other hand, if you are not joyful and you feel nothing genuine, nothing special when you are around him, it is a sign you are settling.
Fear of loneliness
A classical sign of settling is the fear of being alone. While fear of being alone is understandable and relatable, it shouldn’t be the sole reason you are in a false relationship. Loneliness makes us feel like we need somebody around us all the time, or we need to be in a relationship with someone to feel complete.
However, that may not be the perfect solution. Instead of entering a wrong relationship, you can learn to be alone. Here is a book by Professor Kory Floyd that talks about finding real connections in life without the fear of loneliness.
Justifying Your Relationship
Do you constantly feel the need to convince your friends or family that you are in a happy relationship? Or do you always have to emphasize the reasons why you are dating this person? Constant justification could be a sign of settling.
Comparing Your Relationship To Others
If you find yourself comparing your relationship to the relationship of others and you realize that others seem happier or more compatible, it is a red sign. Because if you are dating someone you love and adore, the comparison wouldn’t matter.
Is it good to settle in a relationship?
No, it is not.
However, it’s understandable why you want to protect your relationship, given that you have invested a lot of time and effort in it.
However, there is a big chance of you ending up feeling physically and emotionally drained in the long run. Therefore, you need to be with someone who nurtures your personal growth, pushes you to be the best you can be, and supports your dreams.
Are you worried that you are settling for someone you don’t love for the right reasons?
You might be scared of being alone or letting go of your precious feelings. However, whatever the reason for your settling may be, you should know your worth and never settle for less.
You Need To Control Yourself
When settling in a relationship, you may end up constantly blaming your life problems on your partner. It certainly is the easy way out, but not the right way. So, take a step back, examine your life, your goals, dreams and own your life. Owning your life means clearly understanding what you want out of life in general and out of your relationship.
Thus, you will know when to stop settling for less and be patient enough to wait for the better. If you want to take better control of your life, here is a book by a clinical psychologist, Dr. Gail Ratcliffe, that can help you gain more perspective.
- Also, here’s how you can start to take control of your life:
- Don’t be afraid to try new things
- Challenge the norms
- Learn to say no
- Be more disciplined, especially about quality time for yourself
- Prepare for the worst
- Stop hanging out with people whose company isn’t enjoyable for you
- Think of everything as a choice.
How to avoid settling for less in a relationship
The phrase “never settle” has always been thrown around when relationships are being discussed. But, if you realize you are settling for less in a relationship, how do you turn it around?
Here are tips to ensure you don’t settle for less than you deserve.
Raise your standards
Could it be possible that you are settling for less in your relationship because of your standards? How you present yourself to others will determine how they treat you. Therefore, raising your standards will help you attract someone who wants to match those standards. Also, it will help pluck off people not willing to meet your effort. When you are ready to commit to something fully, you must achieve it. So raise your standards and commit to finding a better partner with whom you will be happy.
Don’t Settle; Take Action
No relationship is perfect but you can make it work.
Therefore, you shouldn’t confuse what does settling in a relationship means or compromising.
However, if you can relate to the signs of settling in a relationship discussed above, it may be time to take action for your life. Settling for someone too low to your standard is not good enough for it may frustrate and drain you psychologically. Overcome the fear of loneliness by having a positive mindset, and reading good books on healthy relationships. Also, learn how to attract the right people into your life